Perfectionism comes at a cost. The cost of time, energy, and resources. And sometimes it comes at the cost of being overwhelmed and not doing anything at all, paralyzed by perfection and not having enough time to get to that standard.

Loving Leader, there's another way.

Life has a way of continually bringing us to our edge. Sometimes it's our personal edge. Sometimes it's professional. Most of us try to avoid spending too much time at the edge. But like I said, life consistently takes us back to that precipice of our fear.

Sometimes we think we need to show up in grandiose ways, with something profound to say or some big offer.

Sometimes even with our best efforts as leaders and on our teams, things don’t work out the way we envision.

If our standard of success is things going exactly as planned, then we would be paralyzed with inaction. What then?

When my eight year old grandson Carson came from Tennessee to stay with us in Washington State for two weeks in July, we committed to be TV and screen free for entertainment for his entire visit.

Sometimes things do work out!! We research, plan, collaborate, work hard, send out prayers or positive energy, and, lo and behold, we achieve our goal! 

Years ago, when I was in graduate school, Peter Block was teaching our class and asked for four volunteers but didn't say what for. I hesitated and four other people volunteered. Then he said, “Thank you. Now reflect and share with a partner about the choice you just made, and how that is representative of what you always do.” 

Loving Leaders hold the needs of people each day. And they hold the need to embed Love in all aspects of their work – in purpose, in process, in systems, in structures. They hold loving responsibility to care about these details.  

Loving Leader, as you do that work today, pause and remember what holds you, even while you are holding all this.

What I'm reflecting on most is something I said to our friends when they expressed gratitude for us taking the time with them. 

If you are feeling confined because you don't have the budget or the capacity or the bandwidth or the support for the Big Things you wish you could do, remember you have a BIG collection of little things that, truthfully, are the Big Things! 

You see, that fallen tree became the nurse log of new life. New strong seedlings sent down roots in and around the remains of the old tree. I found my voice, reclaimed my life, and with lots of support, had the courage to change and grow.

I’d heard a version of this same statement numerous times this summer. In workshops. In meetings. In one-on-one conversations. I’ve read it in articles too.

“These ideas [about Loving Leadership] are so obvious. They are something we all know.”

But why don't we do them?

Saying thanks doesn't have to be complicated. As Loving Leaders, that's an intentional practice to do - to show gratitude to all your team members. Here is a simple 5-step method to get you going.

A few weeks ago, we blocked 25 minutes, set a timer, opened a blank email for each person, and customized a short, simple, sincere, note naming something specific you appreciated that week. And sent them.

Stand for Loving Leadership and you'll inevitably be pressed to prove that it works. We should welcome this and be ready with valid information showing both the business and human impacts of Love.